Category Archives: Burlesque Noir

Upcoming Events

Posted on May 24, 2012 | 1 Comment

Hi. I’m back from St. Louis. I’m still in this “what just happened, I don’t even know, I think I lost my flip flops, I need to go back to STL, oh shit I have two shows this weekend” state of mind.

St. Louis and the Beggar’s Carnivale rocked my face off. I’m honored to have been able to perform there and take in all the amazing entertainment. I promise to post pictures in an upcoming post. Right now I got to let you know that you have two, that’s right TWO chances to see me perform this weekend.

 

Three Bad Jacks, Cowboys and Indian, The Hi-Lo Tones and Burque Burlesque!

 burqburles

Tomorrow night May 25th at the Launchpad I will be hitting the stage with the lovely ladies from Burque Burlesque and some kickass rockabilly music! $10 and the burlesque starts at 10pm.

 

Burlesque Noir Presents: Burlesque In The Wild, Wild West

wwbq

It’s the show you’ve been waiting for. Burlesque Noir has been working hard putting on this epic and fun and full of bare ass show. Headlining our show is one of my favorite people, Whiskey Darling from Colorado Springs, Colorado. I’ll be debuting my new act Negro Crockett which is to an original song written and performed by the best punk band EVER Vertigo Venus! May 26th, doors at 8pm!

Get your tickets in advance and save $$$$. $10 Presale or $15 at the door. Here is your presale link:https://holdmyticket.com/checkout/event/33560

 

Say howdy y’all!

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Texas Burlesque Festival and Upcoming Events

Posted on April 22, 2012 | Leave a comment

 

Again, keeping it short. Hey what do you want from me? It’s 8 in the morning on a Sunday.

So yes, indeed! Burlesque Noir made the 505 of proud.  We all landed in Austin Friday, performed Saturday and came home Sunday with two awards and a hate for the Dallas/Ft. Worth airport and Texas storms.

 best emsembleBlack Mariah made the awards! So cute!

group photo

All of us ladies ( Mary Jane Monroe, Holly Rebelle, Me, Delicia Dollcurls, Joy Coy)  Holly Rebelle is holding her award for Best Solo.

Texas, you were great to us and I can’t wait to go  back and experience your humidity and ghetto mall fabulousness!

 

 

Dangerous Curves Ahead Photo by Clint Hild

photo by Clint Hild

Do you have your tickets yet for Thursday April 26 – Dangerous Curves Ahead: Burlesque on the Go-Go? Get them NOW! There is limited seating and you do not want to miss these ladies!

Presented by Burlesque Noir at Aux Dog Theater Nob Hill in Albuquerque

Anita Cookie, Clams Casino, Darlinda Just Darlinda, GiGi La Femme, and Minnie Tonka return to the Duke City this Spring. We hosted these five fantastic femmes in 2010 and they’re back for an encore of bump, grind, and shimmy. This time we’re taking it to Nob Hill for an 18+ exclusive event. Click HERE to buy your seats now.
Tickets $15
Presale – http://burlesquenoir.com/shop/tickets
Phone Reservation – (505) 254-7716
Admittance will be General Admission – this theater seats only 80 so buy early
Doors 7 PM
Entertainment 7:30

The ladies of Burlesque Noir will be performing many duets, and solos and

Kitty Irreverent
Ri Ri SynCyr
KuKu LaReaux
Nyree Nix
Cookie Fortune and Cherry Jubilee

will also be joining us!

 

Saturday May 5th! Party down with Zircus Erotique for one hell of a good time!

cino de mayhemThe special guests are very special. How special? Back of the Bus special!! Bwhahahahahhaah!

 

vv logo 

The next week, Vagrant Varity is back at the Low Spirits Thursday May 10th!

***HOST***
Ann Gora
***MUSIC***
Hyperland
Jenny Wren
***BURLESQUE***
General Blackery
Vivian MirAnn
Holly Rebelle
***COMEDY***
Kevin Kennedy
Rusty Rutherford
John Cuellar
Shondeen Beaver Sierra
Smitty
Keith Breckenridge
Markus "The Caveman of comedy" Jennings
***POETRY***
Hakim Bellamy
Nate Maxon
***BODY PAINTING***
Chris Spookz Barnes
***BELLY DANCE***
Ketura and friends
***SWORD DANCE***
Veronica Rinaldi
and more TBA!
Tickets are just $8
21+, Full Bar
Show starts @ 9:00 pm
Brought to you by the same team as AnarKomedy
Thursday May 10th Vagrant Variety is back at Low Spirits! Get Vagrant with the craziest, most unpredictable and most offensive show in town. You never know what will happen. From secret celebrity guests to questionable uses of tea bags this show will rock you so hard you won’t be able to sit down for a week!
Vagrant Variety. No regards. No regrets. No refunds.

 

 

And Finally, save the date for Burlesque Noir Presents: Burlesque In The Wild, Wild West! Saturday May 26th! We got

Lola Spitfire, Fire Tassel Queen (CO Springs)
Whiskey Darling (CO Springs)
Mr. Valdez (CO Springs)
Doc Wilson (transplanted from ME)
Rhinestone Gorilla Burlesque (NY)
RiRi Syncyr (ABQ)
Holly Rebelle (Director, BN)

hitting our stage and whenever there is a CO/NM mix crazy shit happens! Don’t miss this!

 

Ok. I’m done. I got to get costuming because our big show is in less than five weeks and oh did I mention that we BN is going to perform at Show-Me Burlesque Festival in the Beggars Carnivale? Oh I didn’t. Well I just did. Yeah, I’m hitting the tarmac again in less than a month and I’m ready to stick my finger in Ray Gunn’s ass crack again.

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Make the 505 Proud

Posted on April 12, 2012 | Leave a comment

suitcase

 

This showgirl is getting her gear together to perform for the first time ever in Austin, Texas at the Texas Burlesque Festival. texas burlesque festival

I am so excited and eager to hit the road. Wanna follow all mine and Burlesque Noir’s shenanigans? Then follow me on Twitter and Facebook. I’ll be using the hashtag #txbf and #letsgetweird a lot. 

 

 

Hey, check out my smooth , silky bangs!

silky bangs

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Upcoming Burlesque and Exciting NEWS!

Posted on March 20, 2012 | Leave a comment

Business first babies!

Here’s ALL the deets about our Texas and Tassels Fundraiser. Your $5 contribution will help end Kony’s reign of terror in Uganda and you’ll get a neat bracelet will help us get to Austin and beyond!

fundraiser flyer

On April 14th, Burlesque Noir will be competing at Texas Burlesque Fest in Austin.  To pay for fuel and hotel expenses, our own Mary Jane Monroe has asked a number of local businesses to donate their time and services to our Texas and Tassels party on March 31st. Arte de la Mano Aveda Salon, The Cafe Mary Jane, Free Radicals, Dark Flash Photography, and others have donated nearly $500 in prizes for this travel fundraiser and we’re selling $5.00 tickets as a chance to win one or more of these fabulous prizes.

Tickets are available now at the bottom of this page but you can also shop 66 Pin Ups and Free Radicals to get them.  You may also purchase tickets just prior to the drawing on March 31st at the Texas and Tassels party hosted at The Cafe Mary Jane located at 3600 HWY 528 (in front of Dick’s Sporting Goods)   DJ Brian Botkiller will be spinning dance beats and prize sponsor Dark Flash Photography will be taking photos of all the fun

Raffle drawing takes place during the Texas and Tassels Fundraiser celebration.

The Cafe Mary Jane

3600 State Highway 528 NW

Albuquerque, NM 87114 (505) 898-0505

3/31 from 11 – 4 PM

Complete list of Prizes:

*A Salon Spa Day at Arte De La Mano Aveda Salon: Includes hair cut, full set of nails over glitter, and pedicure

*An Aveda Make Over Package: Includes $50 in Aveda make-up, $70 in hair bling, and $45 in Aveda salon services.

* Two $20 Free Radicals gift cards!

*Dark Flash Photography gift certificates.

*4 pack of Tickets to Burlesque Noir Presents Burlesque in the Wild West (5/26)

* A one of a kind 8 x 10 photo print Signed by the lovely ladies of Burlesque Noir!!

* Eat bacon off General Blackery’s Chest – You’ll need to work out the details of this prize privately with The General.

Chances of winning based on number of tickets sold.

Buy your e-ticket here!

Secondly!

Go to The Guild Cinema in ABQ April 1-5, see the amazing documentary Crazy Horse about Paris’ most famous nude cabaret, see a two local burlesque dancers at each of the 8:20pm showings, AND SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL BURLESQUE PERFORMERS IN THEIR TRAVELS TO Texas Burlesque Festival. I will be performing Sunday April 1st! Support local, support nude, support Team Texas!

 

Thirdly!

Burlesque Noir has been accepted to perform for the 3rd year in a row at the Colorado Burlesque Festival!! Yeeeehaaaaawww!!!  We are performing at the Thursday night pre-gala show. Which means I perform once and party for the rest of the weekend. YES! SIR! See ya soon Denver!

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Got $5?

Posted on March 14, 2012 | Leave a comment

Hey you! Don’t buy that Starbucks! Instead, invest your $5 in a burlesque dancer. That’s right buddy! Burlesque Noir is selling raffle tickets to pay for our expensive ass trip to Austin, Texas for the Texas Burlesque Festival. Not only will your money help us, BUT you will be entered to win fabulous prizes. Check the flyer yo!

fundraiser flyer

You could also win a chance to eat bacon off my chest!!

Brian Botkiller will be there to bump some tunes and Alex Fullam of Dark Flash Photography will be there taking pics of you shaking your ass with hot bikini clad ladies! So wipe out them $5 bills and make it rain on us hot bitches!!!

The Burlesque Noir website will have a link soon to buy tickets online and you can get tickets this Friday night at The Lodge when you come see me perform with a live band.

zelng

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Upcoming Burlesque

Posted on March 8, 2012 | Leave a comment

Howdy. I’m really lazy to write a post so I’m copying and pasting Burlesque Noir’s newsletter. It’s really well written and informative. I just added the flyers because I’m gangsta like that. Enjoy. You too can sign-up and receive this newsletter in your email box just by signing up on their website. BAM!

 

New Mexico Burlesque News #19

Generated on March 8, 2012

Southern Fried

Burlesque Noir would like to congratulate our very own Joy Coy who was selected to perform at the 2nd Annual Southern Fried Burlesque Festival in Atlanta, GA.  She will be performing her “Curly Toes” number on Free Range night.  More info HERE

Burlesque Land

Photo of @Ms Red Snapper by Chris Beyond ©2012

Thursday March 15th, Holly Rebelle will be performing her Rain Cloud Balloon act (“Little April Showers” from Bambi) at BurlesqueLand, the only Disney themed Burlesque show.    Presented by Peepshow Menagerie at Club Monte Cristo in Los Angeles, CA.

 

LNG ZE
Friday March 16 – Zircus Erotique presents “Live Nude Girls”   For this show, the ladies of ZE as well as special guests will be performing classic burlesque to a live band.  This is a rare treat and probably a first for New Mexico.  Features Albuquerque favorites General Blackery, RiRi SynCyr and Vivian MirAnn.  More info on the ZE Facebook event   Get yer tickets HERE

 

Dangerous Curves Ahead Photo by Clint Hild photo by Clint Hild

Finally, get your tickets now for Thursday April 26 – Dangerous Curves Ahead: Burlesque on the Go-Go!
Presented by Burlesque Noir at Aux Dog Theater Nob Hill in Albuquerque

Anita Cookie, Clams Casino, Darlinda Just Darlinda, GiGi La Femme, and Minnie Tonka return to the Duke City this Spring. We hosted these five fantastic femmes in 2010 and they’re back for an encore of bump, grind, and shimmy. This time we’re taking it to Nob Hill for an 18+ exclusive event. Click HERE to buy your seats now.
Tickets $15
Presale – http://burlesquenoir.com/shop/tickets
Phone Reservation – (505) 254-7716
Admittance will be General Admission – this theater seats only 80 so buy early
Doors 7 PM
Entertainment 7:30

 

 

Thanks Mr. Rebelle!

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Post-Coital

Posted on February 16, 2012 | 1 Comment

Good mother-fucking afternoon everyone!

Picture 052

I’m going to hot yoga this afternoon. This will be my first time. If I die, this will be the last image of myself. Amazing.

Well, the Tucson show has come and gone and so has the Southwest Burlesque Showcase. Can I just say how amazing last week’s three day extravaganza was?  I mean that shit was crazy fun. I had a blast hanging out with old friends, new friends and even a bear! Next year I’m definitely not going to work those days because I missed a huge opportunity hanging out with my NM, CO, IL, TN and TX buddies. Next time fo’ sheezy. Once I get all the pictures and video!!! back I will do a HUGE post on all the awesome. In the meantime, here’s some emotional vomit. Don’t worry, I’ll have a prize at the bottom.

 

I got a major case of the burlesque hangover/comedown and a COLD! And I’m doing my taxes and this year I have to OWE! I feel like I have just fucked myself over and it’s only the middle of February( I am the master of shitting where I eat and shooting myself in the foot). Well I guess it’s better to be fucked over by yourself than be fucked over by someone else. Right right? Unless it’s by one of these hot bitches. Mmmmm. (see what I did there?)

clockworkwhore2

I had myself a nice cry Monday night while eating pho and watching Harold and Maude and realizing that damn, I need a Maude. I want to be Maude. Can someone please caress me the way  Harold caresses and strokes the wooden statue? Fuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkkk. I try not to give a fuck, but do you know how much energy and stress that takes? GOD DAMN!

buddha

I knew after all the shows I wanted to go on a “chemical vacation”. Meaning any drugs and alcohol that is available can get in my body right now. Well those chemicals have been nothing but Emergen-C, Airborne, vitamins vitamins vitamins and some whiskey. My snot is electric yellow. It won’t stop. I really wanted to treat myself to a tattoo for Valentine’s Day because I love only myself but I don’t think it’s a good idea to get inked while sniffling. Hopefully soon.

Blah.

 

Here’s your bonus if you haven’t seen it yet.

bringonthemen

Much love to Phoenix Rizing Photography for this kickass shot! The got a lot more from the show on their page. Check it yo!

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Put a bird on it.

Posted on February 7, 2012 | 2 Comments

Hi. How you doing? Good I hope. Well tonight I’m gonna tell you a little story about my week.

Sooooo this week ( it’s only Tuesday night!!!)  has been super stressful with no thanks to PMS. Monday night I was in tears multiple times and I felt like Patrick Bateman during the business card scene.

I felt like this…image

 

And I wanted to do this…image

image

All over some trivial ass bullshit ( if you are just joining us,  I frequently shit where I eat and make bad decisions). Fuuuuuuu. Combine that with sewing and thinking about stupid shit and last night was pretty terrible.

Cut to about about an hour ago tonight and I get home from rehearsal. I live in a house with an alarm system. I roll up after stopping at the grocery store and notice a big red light is flashing. Oh that must be for the alarm…. I got to the front door and it’s ajar. Oh shit. And like a dumbass, I open the door and say “ Hello? Anybody there?” Well that was stupid. (Why don’t I just drop my panties and make it easier for the rapist*. ) So I call my room-mate and ask if they left in a hurry yadda yadda yadda.  They come home, and for whatever reason the door didn’t close when they left. Oh. Needless to say, I just got out of a nice long and hot Epsom salt bath and I’m  on my second drink of Ginger Ale and Jim Beam.

 

SOooooo with all that said, please come out and see me and all the amazing performers coming your way to tease and entertain you Thursday February 9th and Friday the 10th and  Saturday the 11th during the 6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase.

377990_299077033458842_145708085462405_934848_514010756_n

A lot of blood, sweat, tears and glitter go into producing, costuming, choreographing, stage managing &  titty-taping in order to bring such an amazing festival to Albuquerque. Many many thanks to everyone involved!!

<3<3<3 XOXOXOXOX<3<3<3

Please say thank you, buy them drinks and give massages with happy endings. I would like all of the above please!!! xoxox

 

*I’m actually more afraid of being shot than raped. I just don’t want to get raped by an ugly dude.*

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6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase GIVEAWAY

Posted on January 4, 2012 | 8 Comments

 377990_299077033458842_145708085462405_934848_514010756_n

Wanna go to the Southwest Burlesque Showcase? Wanna get in for free ( like a boss)? Well now you can! I am giving away a ticket to the Friday February 10th  show at the Kimo. Woo! Hoo! You will get to see the show for FREE! Yeah. For free! And a button of me! You get to enter through the stage door ( like a boss) and let me embarrass the shit out of you the whole entire night (like a boss)! AWWW Yeah!

To enter: Leave a comment on this blog post or on Facebook. Feel free to pass this post like a blunt so your homies get a chance to enter.

Contest Rules:This giveaway is open to people age 21 or older who definitely know they will be in town and not a get fucking migraine day of show.  Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

I’ll be running this giveaway from now until January 28th! So get those comments in son! February 1st I’ll pick a winner!

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Better Living Through Bad Decisions

Posted on December 31, 2011 | Leave a comment

I sit here writing this on my newly awakened laptop ( it died in September) , eating Red Velvet Cake Pancake Puppies with Cream Cheese Icing from Denny’s. Life is good I tells ya!

The death knell for 2011 hasn’t even rung yet and 2012 is looking pretty dope. Not that 2011 wasn’t amazing. It was. I got to go to new cities and meet new amazing people. I had the best freaking birthday ever and I spent the holidays with my true family of friends.Oh I also feel in love…….with whiskey. 2011 has also given me a goal. A goal for 2012 and beyond. That goal: Make more bad decisions.

AhoPNaCCIAISi8-

It’s time to start living ladies and gents and make better bad decisions. Let this motto carry you through 2012 and beyond. See ya in jail bitches!

UPCOMING EVENTS

  • Catch me January 18th at the Launchpad where Vagrant Variety presents another panty-dropping good time with music by Diverje, stand-up comedy, poetry, and burlesque. Only $5!
  • Southwest Burlesque Showcase. Catch me solo Friday  February 10th at the Kimo,  and catch me with Burlesque Noir Saturday night. I’ll be cheering and running around topless Thursday night at the Launchpad as well. 377990_299077033458842_145708085462405_934848_514010756_nCheck out Burque Burlesque for the complete line-up!

Be safe and happy tonight my loves! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

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