Put a bird on it.

Posted on February 7, 2012 | 2 Comments

Hi. How you doing? Good I hope. Well tonight I’m gonna tell you a little story about my week.

Sooooo this week ( it’s only Tuesday night!!!)  has been super stressful with no thanks to PMS. Monday night I was in tears multiple times and I felt like Patrick Bateman during the business card scene.

I felt like this…image

 

And I wanted to do this…image

image

All over some trivial ass bullshit ( if you are just joining us,  I frequently shit where I eat and make bad decisions). Fuuuuuuu. Combine that with sewing and thinking about stupid shit and last night was pretty terrible.

Cut to about about an hour ago tonight and I get home from rehearsal. I live in a house with an alarm system. I roll up after stopping at the grocery store and notice a big red light is flashing. Oh that must be for the alarm…. I got to the front door and it’s ajar. Oh shit. And like a dumbass, I open the door and say “ Hello? Anybody there?” Well that was stupid. (Why don’t I just drop my panties and make it easier for the rapist*. ) So I call my room-mate and ask if they left in a hurry yadda yadda yadda.  They come home, and for whatever reason the door didn’t close when they left. Oh. Needless to say, I just got out of a nice long and hot Epsom salt bath and I’m  on my second drink of Ginger Ale and Jim Beam.

 

SOooooo with all that said, please come out and see me and all the amazing performers coming your way to tease and entertain you Thursday February 9th and Friday the 10th and  Saturday the 11th during the 6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase.

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A lot of blood, sweat, tears and glitter go into producing, costuming, choreographing, stage managing &  titty-taping in order to bring such an amazing festival to Albuquerque. Many many thanks to everyone involved!!

<3<3<3 XOXOXOXOX<3<3<3

Please say thank you, buy them drinks and give massages with happy endings. I would like all of the above please!!! xoxox

 

*I’m actually more afraid of being shot than raped. I just don’t want to get raped by an ugly dude.*

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6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Giveaway WINNER

Posted on February 6, 2012 | Leave a comment

Congratulations to commenter #2

Meredith J. Keeton

You get to go to Friday night’s show! Woo! Thank you to all the contestants that played and good luck next time. I will have another giveaway in the works open to everyone so stayed tuned lovers!

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6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase GIVEAWAY

Posted on January 4, 2012 | 8 Comments

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Wanna go to the Southwest Burlesque Showcase? Wanna get in for free ( like a boss)? Well now you can! I am giving away a ticket to the Friday February 10th  show at the Kimo. Woo! Hoo! You will get to see the show for FREE! Yeah. For free! And a button of me! You get to enter through the stage door ( like a boss) and let me embarrass the shit out of you the whole entire night (like a boss)! AWWW Yeah!

To enter: Leave a comment on this blog post or on Facebook. Feel free to pass this post like a blunt so your homies get a chance to enter.

Contest Rules:This giveaway is open to people age 21 or older who definitely know they will be in town and not a get fucking migraine day of show.  Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

I’ll be running this giveaway from now until January 28th! So get those comments in son! February 1st I’ll pick a winner!

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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Better Living Through Bad Decisions

Posted on December 31, 2011 | Leave a comment

I sit here writing this on my newly awakened laptop ( it died in September) , eating Red Velvet Cake Pancake Puppies with Cream Cheese Icing from Denny’s. Life is good I tells ya!

The death knell for 2011 hasn’t even rung yet and 2012 is looking pretty dope. Not that 2011 wasn’t amazing. It was. I got to go to new cities and meet new amazing people. I had the best freaking birthday ever and I spent the holidays with my true family of friends.Oh I also feel in love…….with whiskey. 2011 has also given me a goal. A goal for 2012 and beyond. That goal: Make more bad decisions.

AhoPNaCCIAISi8-

It’s time to start living ladies and gents and make better bad decisions. Let this motto carry you through 2012 and beyond. See ya in jail bitches!

UPCOMING EVENTS

  • Catch me January 18th at the Launchpad where Vagrant Variety presents another panty-dropping good time with music by Diverje, stand-up comedy, poetry, and burlesque. Only $5!
  • Southwest Burlesque Showcase. Catch me solo Friday  February 10th at the Kimo,  and catch me with Burlesque Noir Saturday night. I’ll be cheering and running around topless Thursday night at the Launchpad as well. 377990_299077033458842_145708085462405_934848_514010756_nCheck out Burque Burlesque for the complete line-up!

Be safe and happy tonight my loves! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

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I haven’t posted since September.

Posted on December 16, 2011 | Leave a comment

Whoops. Sorry about that guys. Life without a laptop is hard. But at least I can still watch porn on my phone. Meh. Just a quick posty post letting you know that this blog is back up and ready to rock!

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What’s Up?

Posted on September 14, 2011 | Leave a comment

This is what I have been feasting my eyes on this week. Enjoy.

 

Hey Girl!

 

Honey badger don’t care. Honey badger don’t give a shit!

 

 

I can’t embed at the moment so go to Strip Cheez and check out Burlesque Noir tearing it up at the 2nd Annual Colorado Burlesque Festival! We fucking rocked it!!

 

This weekend I head up to Colorado Springs to perform there for the first time. Wooooooot! 

CO Springs

Check that flyer out! HOT! I’ll be doing a solo Friday nigh at the Zodiac Venue/Bar and performing with Burlesque Noir Saturday!!

 

BAM! This weekend is gonna be gooooooood!

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Sorry for the radio silence.

Posted on September 6, 2011 | Leave a comment

Hey hey hey! So I’m all moved and everything. Enjoy a post I wrote a couple weeks ago.  Lots of things happened since I wrote this initial post.  Expect an updated one shortly.

 

 

Your wonderful General Blackery has become a free bitch baby. Of course that means my personal life is in a bit of a flux with partners moving out, no internet at home,  and the eventual move of all my glitter.  So expect even more debauchery from this dirty rotten showgirl. Wait, it already happened. In Santa Fe.

Let me just briefly touch on what happened up there at Tallulah’s St. James’s Birthday Suit Bonanza. There was a show. It was a great fucking show.I got to see the legendary Satan’s Angel put on one hell of a show.  But afterwards the party got started. I was making out with as much people as I could. Guests at the hotel were complaining, asking for refunds, cops were being called, pool jumpers, naked hot tub time, threesomes and 2:30 am booty calls. And then we all met for brunch in the morning to try to remember what the hell happened. Oh The Lodge at Santa Fe will never be the same.  Best quote from brunch which Sofia Soberette put on my facebook wall “ How do you have a threesome with yourself?”

So you guys, when I say you need to come out to a burlesque show, you should really go. And stick around for the afterparty. I can’t guarantee they will all be like that. I think the mix of New Mexico and Colorado combining creates a party tornado. So, please come to one of the many burlesque shows that happen in the Albuquerque/Santa Fe area. You will not be disappointed.

Mark your calendars for the weekend in August 19-21st for A Burly-Q.  And stay tuned for Burlesque Noir’s Burlesque in the Wild West Show November 12th. Annnnnd the dates for the 6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Fest have been announced. Mark those calendars Feburary 10-12th. BAM!

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Posted in Albuquerque New Mexico, burlesque, Burlesque Noir, Denver Colorado

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