Tag Archives: Albuquerque

Upcoming Burlesque and Exciting NEWS!

Business first babies!

Here’s ALL the deets about our Texas and Tassels Fundraiser. Your $5 contribution will help end Kony’s reign of terror in Uganda and you’ll get a neat bracelet will help us get to Austin and beyond!

fundraiser flyer

On April 14th, Burlesque Noir will be competing at Texas Burlesque Fest in Austin.  To pay for fuel and hotel expenses, our own Mary Jane Monroe has asked a number of local businesses to donate their time and services to our Texas and Tassels party on March 31st. Arte de la Mano Aveda Salon, The Cafe Mary Jane, Free Radicals, Dark Flash Photography, and others have donated nearly $500 in prizes for this travel fundraiser and we’re selling $5.00 tickets as a chance to win one or more of these fabulous prizes.

Tickets are available now at the bottom of this page but you can also shop 66 Pin Ups and Free Radicals to get them.  You may also purchase tickets just prior to the drawing on March 31st at the Texas and Tassels party hosted at The Cafe Mary Jane located at 3600 HWY 528 (in front of Dick’s Sporting Goods)   DJ Brian Botkiller will be spinning dance beats and prize sponsor Dark Flash Photography will be taking photos of all the fun

Raffle drawing takes place during the Texas and Tassels Fundraiser celebration.

The Cafe Mary Jane

3600 State Highway 528 NW

Albuquerque, NM 87114 (505) 898-0505

3/31 from 11 – 4 PM

Complete list of Prizes:

*A Salon Spa Day at Arte De La Mano Aveda Salon: Includes hair cut, full set of nails over glitter, and pedicure

*An Aveda Make Over Package: Includes $50 in Aveda make-up, $70 in hair bling, and $45 in Aveda salon services.

* Two $20 Free Radicals gift cards!

*Dark Flash Photography gift certificates.

*4 pack of Tickets to Burlesque Noir Presents Burlesque in the Wild West (5/26)

* A one of a kind 8 x 10 photo print Signed by the lovely ladies of Burlesque Noir!!

* Eat bacon off General Blackery’s Chest – You’ll need to work out the details of this prize privately with The General.

Chances of winning based on number of tickets sold.

Buy your e-ticket here!

Secondly!

Go to The Guild Cinema in ABQ April 1-5, see the amazing documentary Crazy Horse about Paris’ most famous nude cabaret, see a two local burlesque dancers at each of the 8:20pm showings, AND SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL BURLESQUE PERFORMERS IN THEIR TRAVELS TO Texas Burlesque Festival. I will be performing Sunday April 1st! Support local, support nude, support Team Texas!

 

Thirdly!

Burlesque Noir has been accepted to perform for the 3rd year in a row at the Colorado Burlesque Festival!! Yeeeehaaaaawww!!!  We are performing at the Thursday night pre-gala show. Which means I perform once and party for the rest of the weekend. YES! SIR! See ya soon Denver!

Got $5?

Hey you! Don’t buy that Starbucks! Instead, invest your $5 in a burlesque dancer. That’s right buddy! Burlesque Noir is selling raffle tickets to pay for our expensive ass trip to Austin, Texas for the Texas Burlesque Festival. Not only will your money help us, BUT you will be entered to win fabulous prizes. Check the flyer yo!

fundraiser flyer

You could also win a chance to eat bacon off my chest!!

Brian Botkiller will be there to bump some tunes and Alex Fullam of Dark Flash Photography will be there taking pics of you shaking your ass with hot bikini clad ladies! So wipe out them $5 bills and make it rain on us hot bitches!!!

The Burlesque Noir website will have a link soon to buy tickets online and you can get tickets this Friday night at The Lodge when you come see me perform with a live band.

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Upcoming Burlesque

Howdy. I’m really lazy to write a post so I’m copying and pasting Burlesque Noir’s newsletter. It’s really well written and informative. I just added the flyers because I’m gangsta like that. Enjoy. You too can sign-up and receive this newsletter in your email box just by signing up on their website. BAM!

 

New Mexico Burlesque News #19

Generated on March 8, 2012

Southern Fried

Burlesque Noir would like to congratulate our very own Joy Coy who was selected to perform at the 2nd Annual Southern Fried Burlesque Festival in Atlanta, GA.  She will be performing her “Curly Toes” number on Free Range night.  More info HERE

Burlesque Land

Photo of @Ms Red Snapper by Chris Beyond ©2012

Thursday March 15th, Holly Rebelle will be performing her Rain Cloud Balloon act (“Little April Showers” from Bambi) at BurlesqueLand, the only Disney themed Burlesque show.    Presented by Peepshow Menagerie at Club Monte Cristo in Los Angeles, CA.

 

LNG ZE
Friday March 16 – Zircus Erotique presents “Live Nude Girls”   For this show, the ladies of ZE as well as special guests will be performing classic burlesque to a live band.  This is a rare treat and probably a first for New Mexico.  Features Albuquerque favorites General Blackery, RiRi SynCyr and Vivian MirAnn.  More info on the ZE Facebook event   Get yer tickets HERE

 

Dangerous Curves Ahead Photo by Clint Hild photo by Clint Hild

Finally, get your tickets now for Thursday April 26 – Dangerous Curves Ahead: Burlesque on the Go-Go!
Presented by Burlesque Noir at Aux Dog Theater Nob Hill in Albuquerque

Anita Cookie, Clams Casino, Darlinda Just Darlinda, GiGi La Femme, and Minnie Tonka return to the Duke City this Spring. We hosted these five fantastic femmes in 2010 and they’re back for an encore of bump, grind, and shimmy. This time we’re taking it to Nob Hill for an 18+ exclusive event. Click HERE to buy your seats now.
Tickets $15
Presale – http://burlesquenoir.com/shop/tickets
Phone Reservation – (505) 254-7716
Admittance will be General Admission – this theater seats only 80 so buy early
Doors 7 PM
Entertainment 7:30

 

 

Thanks Mr. Rebelle!

Put a bird on it.

Hi. How you doing? Good I hope. Well tonight I’m gonna tell you a little story about my week.

Sooooo this week ( it’s only Tuesday night!!!)  has been super stressful with no thanks to PMS. Monday night I was in tears multiple times and I felt like Patrick Bateman during the business card scene.

I felt like this…image

 

And I wanted to do this…image

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All over some trivial ass bullshit ( if you are just joining us,  I frequently shit where I eat and make bad decisions). Fuuuuuuu. Combine that with sewing and thinking about stupid shit and last night was pretty terrible.

Cut to about about an hour ago tonight and I get home from rehearsal. I live in a house with an alarm system. I roll up after stopping at the grocery store and notice a big red light is flashing. Oh that must be for the alarm…. I got to the front door and it’s ajar. Oh shit. And like a dumbass, I open the door and say “ Hello? Anybody there?” Well that was stupid. (Why don’t I just drop my panties and make it easier for the rapist*. ) So I call my room-mate and ask if they left in a hurry yadda yadda yadda.  They come home, and for whatever reason the door didn’t close when they left. Oh. Needless to say, I just got out of a nice long and hot Epsom salt bath and I’m  on my second drink of Ginger Ale and Jim Beam.

 

SOooooo with all that said, please come out and see me and all the amazing performers coming your way to tease and entertain you Thursday February 9th and Friday the 10th and  Saturday the 11th during the 6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase.

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A lot of blood, sweat, tears and glitter go into producing, costuming, choreographing, stage managing &  titty-taping in order to bring such an amazing festival to Albuquerque. Many many thanks to everyone involved!!

<3<3<3 XOXOXOXOX<3<3<3

Please say thank you, buy them drinks and give massages with happy endings. I would like all of the above please!!! xoxox

 

*I’m actually more afraid of being shot than raped. I just don’t want to get raped by an ugly dude.*

Better Living Through Bad Decisions

I sit here writing this on my newly awakened laptop ( it died in September) , eating Red Velvet Cake Pancake Puppies with Cream Cheese Icing from Denny’s. Life is good I tells ya!

The death knell for 2011 hasn’t even rung yet and 2012 is looking pretty dope. Not that 2011 wasn’t amazing. It was. I got to go to new cities and meet new amazing people. I had the best freaking birthday ever and I spent the holidays with my true family of friends.Oh I also feel in love…….with whiskey. 2011 has also given me a goal. A goal for 2012 and beyond. That goal: Make more bad decisions.

AhoPNaCCIAISi8-

It’s time to start living ladies and gents and make better bad decisions. Let this motto carry you through 2012 and beyond. See ya in jail bitches!

UPCOMING EVENTS

  • Catch me January 18th at the Launchpad where Vagrant Variety presents another panty-dropping good time with music by Diverje, stand-up comedy, poetry, and burlesque. Only $5!
  • Southwest Burlesque Showcase. Catch me solo Friday  February 10th at the Kimo,  and catch me with Burlesque Noir Saturday night. I’ll be cheering and running around topless Thursday night at the Launchpad as well. 377990_299077033458842_145708085462405_934848_514010756_nCheck out Burque Burlesque for the complete line-up!

Be safe and happy tonight my loves! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

You wanna know what’s fun?

Reading the Albuquerque Craigslist personals for men seeking men and looking at the the dick pics that are posted with the ad. Damn! Who knew that there were so many bored and horny dudes in this town? I have enriched my life 10 fold by learning about blow and go’s , all the different angles in which to take pictures of your dick and how there is one dude who has a room at the Hyatt Tamya. HaaayyyyAAAA! Fuck my vagina, I’m going over anyway!

You wanna know what else is fun? Burlesque Noir Presents: Red Hot Burlesque Summer.  BAM! I think this is our first work safe flier.

burlesque noir 8w

You can and should buy your tickets in advance here. They are only $10 in advance. And where else can you see the amazing Kellita Maloof from San Francisco’s Hot Pink  Feathers but right here in the 505. DO NOT MISS THIS SHOW!

Super extra bonus! Kellita will be teaching workshops on WORLD CABARET/SAMBA DANCE TECHNIQUE and Crafting the Solo Friday night at Rythmic Arts Center (4821 Central Ave. NE). HERE is all the information and sign up form for the workshops.

We got new routines and costumes and gussied up some of our classics and made them bigger and better than ever so get your ass down to the Launchpad June 18th. Yes, you can wear a bikini. Yes, you can buy me a drink. Yes, you can send me dick pics.

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FUCK! Have I got some exciting news for you!

Burlesque Noir has been accepted to perform at the Windy City Burlesque Festival.  OMG!  Yes Miss Honey we get to hang out with Michelle L’Amour again. AHH! 

windycity

We are hoping we can get a fundraiser going soon so we can buy our plane tickets because for some odd reason, flights to Chi-Town are fucking expensive.  I may have to sell a kidney. I’m really excited to get a Chicago style hot dog. I love hot dogs.

Also, the Tini’s and Teaser’s show at Low Spirits was amazing. The show went over capacity. And I got to say, I my new solo was smoking hot. Look at how hot I am.

thehotnessIf you missed this you are on my shit list and I am going to find you and sit on your face and fart the Russian National Anthem. Seriously. You are dumb for missing me perform. DON’T EVER DO IT AGAIN!!!!

Oh and we are going to perform at Rock the Ink in March as well. Can you say “busy beavers”?

 

Remember to check out BN at the 5th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase. The lovely Ann Gora will be performing Friday night and Mr. and Mrs. Rebelle along with BN will be performing Saturday. UNF!

2011, you are kicking some serious ass!

(Photo of my hotness is due to the awesome that is Alex Fullam of Dark Flash Photography)

Upcoming Events

creepshow peepshow

  •  October 29th: a few Burlesque Noir members will be performing at Low Spirits for the Creepshow Peepshow Presented by Miss Vivian/Gilded Cage Burlesk & Variete.

  • November 6th: Pornotopia Censored : Cirque de Sex Sat, at 8 pm at the Sunshine Theater Burlesque, Circus, Comedy and More! Featuring September Smith, Cookie Fortune, Burlesque Noir, Saywut and Gender Offenders. $10-$20 sliding scale
    18 + with ID
    Advance Tickets will be available October 23rd at Self Serve
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  • November 12th: Vagrant Variety hosted by Ann Gora & Xavier Wyntir featuring General Blackery * Kitty Irreverent * Kevin Kennedy * Ho Punch * Pavel Ivanocich Kosachev * Back Of The Bus * Lucas Corvatta * Poki & Ember * Delicia Dollcurls * The Phoenix Project at Low Spirits November 12, 2010 8:00 pm – 12:00 am Doors Open @ 7:00pm 21+ Ages  $10

Attention Maryland and New Mexico People

NEXT WEEK is the show of a lifetime!

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Tix are still on sale but going fast!  We are currently flyering our butts off thanks to the Luscious Liberty Ladies. So if you see one of us, get a couple.

Speaking of which, the Luscious Liberty Ladies are ending their whirlwind tour in Baltimore on June 17th. SO YOU BETTER GO SEE THEM! Check out their site www.burlesqueonthegogo.com for more information .

Ok I’m off to get ready for work. Peace!

Two Quick Things

Good Morning!!!!

  • Two of Burlesque Noir’s finest are headed to Boston today for The Great Boston Burlesque Expo. Break a tassel ladies and say “Hi!!!!”  to the East Coast for me.
  • Watch this video. I’m in it! One major reason to come hooping is to hang out with all these awesome hoopers , and moi! Thank you Flo and Alaska!