Tag Archives: Albuquerque

Put a bird on it.

Posted on February 7, 2012 | 2 Comments

Hi. How you doing? Good I hope. Well tonight I’m gonna tell you a little story about my week.

Sooooo this week ( it’s only Tuesday night!!!) has been super stressful with no thanks to PMS. Monday night I was in tears multiple times and I felt like Patrick Bateman during the business card scene.

I felt like this…

And I wanted to do this…

All over some trivial ass bullshit ( if you are just joining us, I frequently shit where I eat and make bad decisions). Fuuuuuuu. Combine that with sewing and thinking about stupid shit and last night was pretty terrible.

Cut to about about an hour ago tonight and I get home from rehearsal. I live in a house with an alarm system. I roll up after stopping at the grocery store and notice a big red light is flashing. Oh that must be for the alarm…. I got to the front door and it’s ajar. Oh shit. And like a dumbass, I open the door and say “ Hello? Anybody there?” Well that was stupid. (Why don’t I just drop my panties and make it easier for the rapist*. ) So I call my room-mate and ask if they left in a hurry yadda yadda yadda. They come home, and for whatever reason the door didn’t close when they left. Oh. Needless to say, I just got out of a nice long and hot Epsom salt bath and I’m on my second drink of Ginger Ale and Jim Beam.

SOooooo with all that said, please come out and see me and all the amazing performers coming your way to tease and entertain you Thursday February 9th and Friday the 10th and Saturday the 11th during the 6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase.

A lot of blood, sweat, tears and glitter go into producing, costuming, choreographing, stage managing & titty-taping in order to bring such an amazing festival to Albuquerque. Many many thanks to everyone involved!!

<3<3<3 XOXOXOXOX<3<3<3

Please say thank you, buy them drinks and give massages with happy endings. I would like all of the above please!!! xoxox

*I’m actually more afraid of being shot than raped. I just don’t want to get raped by an ugly dude.*

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir

Tagged Albuquerque, bullshit, burlesque, Burlesque Noir, burque burlesque, cocolectric, Kimo, miss indigo blue, New Mexico, pms, put a bird on it, Southwest Burlesque Festival

Better Living Through Bad Decisions

Posted on December 31, 2011 | Leave a comment

I sit here writing this on my newly awakened laptop ( it died in September) , eating Red Velvet Cake Pancake Puppies with Cream Cheese Icing from Denny’s. Life is good I tells ya!

The death knell for 2011 hasn’t even rung yet and 2012 is looking pretty dope. Not that 2011 wasn’t amazing. It was. I got to go to new cities and meet new amazing people. I had the best freaking birthday ever and I spent the holidays with my true family of friends.Oh I also feel in love…….with whiskey. 2011 has also given me a goal. A goal for 2012 and beyond. That goal: Make more bad decisions.

It’s time to start living ladies and gents and make better bad decisions. Let this motto carry you through 2012 and beyond. See ya in jail bitches!

UPCOMING EVENTS

Catch me January 18th at the Launchpad where Vagrant Variety presents another panty-dropping good time with music by Diverje, stand-up comedy, poetry, and burlesque. Only $5!
Southwest Burlesque Showcase. Catch me solo Friday February 10th at the Kimo, and catch me with Burlesque Noir Saturday night. I’ll be cheering and running around topless Thursday night at the Launchpad as well. Check out Burque Burlesque for the complete line-up!

Be safe and happy tonight my loves! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir

Tagged Albuquerque, burlesque, Burlesque Noir, burque burlesque, cocolectric, miss indigo blue, New Mexico

You wanna know what’s fun?

Posted on June 9, 2011 | Leave a comment

Reading the Albuquerque Craigslist personals for men seeking men and looking at the the dick pics that are posted with the ad. Damn! Who knew that there were so many bored and horny dudes in this town? I have enriched my life 10 fold by learning about blow and go’s , all the different angles in which to take pictures of your dick and how there is one dude who has a room at the Hyatt Tamya. HaaayyyyAAAA! Fuck my vagina, I’m going over anyway!

You wanna know what else is fun? Burlesque Noir Presents: Red Hot Burlesque Summer. BAM! I think this is our first work safe flier.

You can and should buy your tickets in advance here. They are only $10 in advance. And where else can you see the amazing Kellita Maloof from San Francisco’s Hot Pink Feathers but right here in the 505. DO NOT MISS THIS SHOW!

Super extra bonus! Kellita will be teaching workshops on WORLD CABARET/SAMBA DANCE TECHNIQUE and Crafting the Solo Friday night at Rythmic Arts Center (4821 Central Ave. NE). HERE is all the information and sign up form for the workshops.

We got new routines and costumes and gussied up some of our classics and made them bigger and better than ever so get your ass down to the Launchpad June 18th. Yes, you can wear a bikini. Yes, you can buy me a drink. Yes, you can send me dick pics.

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Posted in Albuquerque New Mexico, burlesque, Burlesque Noir

Tagged Albuquerque, burlesque, Burlesque Noir, Hot Pink Feathers, IntoxiKate, Kellita, Kitty Irreverent, Launchpad, Mc Xavier Wyntir, Mena Domina, San Francisco

Posted on January 16, 2011 | Leave a comment

FUCK! Have I got some exciting news for you!

Burlesque Noir has been accepted to perform at the Windy City Burlesque Festival. OMG! Yes Miss Honey we get to hang out with Michelle L’Amour again. AHH!

We are hoping we can get a fundraiser going soon so we can buy our plane tickets because for some odd reason, flights to Chi-Town are fucking expensive. I may have to sell a kidney. I’m really excited to get a Chicago style hot dog. I love hot dogs.

Also, the Tini’s and Teaser’s show at Low Spirits was amazing. The show went over capacity. And I got to say, I my new solo was smoking hot. Look at how hot I am.

If you missed this you are on my shit list and I am going to find you and sit on your face and fart the Russian National Anthem. Seriously. You are dumb for missing me perform. DON’T EVER DO IT AGAIN!!!!

Oh and we are going to perform at Rock the Ink in March as well. Can you say “busy beavers”?

Remember to check out BN at the 5th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase. The lovely Ann Gora will be performing Friday night and Mr. and Mrs. Rebelle along with BN will be performing Saturday. UNF!

2011, you are kicking some serious ass!

(Photo of my hotness is due to the awesome that is Alex Fullam of Dark Flash Photography)

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir, news

Tagged Albuquerque, burlesque, Burlesque Noir, chicago, michelle l'amour, New Mexico, Southwest Burlesque Festival, windy city burlesque festival

Upcoming Events

Posted on October 24, 2010 | Leave a comment

October 29th: a few Burlesque Noir members will be performing at Low Spirits for the Creepshow Peepshow Presented by Miss Vivian/Gilded Cage Burlesk & Variete.

November 6th: Pornotopia Censored : Cirque de Sex Sat, at 8 pm at the Sunshine Theater Burlesque, Circus, Comedy and More! Featuring September Smith, Cookie Fortune, Burlesque Noir, Saywut and Gender Offenders. $10-$20 sliding scale
18 + with ID
Advance Tickets will be available October 23rd at Self Serve

November 12th: Vagrant Variety hosted by Ann Gora & Xavier Wyntir featuring General Blackery * Kitty Irreverent * Kevin Kennedy * Ho Punch * Pavel Ivanocich Kosachev * Back Of The Bus * Lucas Corvatta * Poki & Ember * Delicia Dollcurls * The Phoenix Project at Low Spirits November 12, 2010 8:00 pm – 12:00 am Doors Open @ 7:00pm 21+ Ages $10

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir

Tagged Albuquerque, Back of the Bus, burlesque, Burlesque Noir, Halloween, Pornotopia, Self Serve, Vagrant Variety

Attention Maryland and New Mexico People

Posted on June 1, 2010 | Leave a comment

NEXT WEEK is the show of a lifetime!

Tix are still on sale but going fast! We are currently flyering our butts off thanks to the Luscious Liberty Ladies. So if you see one of us, get a couple.

Speaking of which, the Luscious Liberty Ladies are ending their whirlwind tour in Baltimore on June 17th. SO YOU BETTER GO SEE THEM! Check out their site www.burlesqueonthegogo.com for more information .

Ok I’m off to get ready for work. Peace!

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Posted in Albuquerque New Mexico, burlesque, Burlesque Noir

Tagged Albuquerque, Baltimore, burlesque, Burlesque Noir, Maryland

Two Quick Things

Posted on April 2, 2010 | Leave a comment

Good Morning!!!!

Two of Burlesque Noir’s finest are headed to Boston today for The Great Boston Burlesque Expo. Break a tassel ladies and say “Hi!!!!” to the East Coast for me.
Watch this video. I’m in it! One major reason to come hooping is to hang out with all these awesome hoopers , and moi! Thank you Flo and Alaska!

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Posted in Burlesque Noir, hooping

Tagged Albuquerque, Boston, Burlesque Noir, hooping

It’s Dan Aykroyd Day!

Posted on March 12, 2010 | Leave a comment

So. Dan Aykroyd was in town yesterday selling his own Crystal Head Vodka. At a Walgreens. Enjoy the photos.

The line when we got there around 3:30pm.

$44.99 + tax bottle of vodka purchased. It’s filtered through diamonds.

So close. We are so excited, so excited, so scared. Before we knew he was coming to town, Paul and I had been holding a mini Dan Aykroyd marathon. It was a sign.

Omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMGOMG OMG OMG OMG IT’S MOTHERFUCKING DAN AYKROYD!!!!!!!!

Crap pics I know. But, I shook his hand. It was very soft and warm. Like fresh dough. Fresh awesome “ I was in Ghostbusters” dough. Mmmmmmmm.

Signed vodka. Signed Trading Places DVD. BOOYAH!

Hi. Did you hear that Sara met Dan Aykroyd. Yeah. You go girl.

This expensive liquor is now residing on our bookshelf in the living room. It will be admired and remind me of that great day.

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Posted in tomfoolery, wtf

Tagged Albuquerque, Crystal Head Vodka, Dan Aykroyd, New Mexico, Trading Places, wtf

Upcoming!

Posted on February 1, 2010 | Leave a comment

newsheader

The 4th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase is happing in a few days!!! New Mexico’s own Burlesque Noir, September Smith, Riri Syncyr, Scarlet Grace, Kitty Irreverent & Vivian Mirann will be performing. Check and click the flyer for more info. Burlesque Noir will be performing Friday night.