Top 20 Fatties and Trolls of Burlesque in Albuquerque

I’m an expert. Ok. This list isn’t biased at all.

Here we go in no particular order..

20. Adam Brown

adam brown

He’s not a burlesque dancer. He just wanted to be on the list.

 

19. Tony Travis

tony travis

Burlesque Noir’s choreographer. Sometimes he performs. Dude is such a troll he is straight up trying to drag a girl off the stage to take her to his cave to carve her to bits and wear her face like a mask.

 

18. Paige Star Savage

paige star savage

You don’t see Paige a lot. She is usually hiding under a bridge or cleaning up stuff. But she is there. Lurking.  Fun Fact: Paige only has eight fingers and toes and I have seen her eat a horse.

 

17. Riri SynCyr

riri

She’s the Mayor of Chubbytown for chrissakes. She bakes incredible snacks out of the blood of innocent children.

 

16. Kitty Irreverent

kitty

She’s done stuff in town. Something about the Southwest Burlesque Showcase and I think she scared Dita Von Teese once while at Burlesque Hall of Fame. Who cares. Titties.

 

15. Moe Pex

moe

I think he goes to the gym. I can’t really tell. He is the newest boylesker in Burlesque Noir and he will be making his stage debut this weekend. He’ll probably do a stupid push up or something.

14. Mickey Nuggets

mickey nuggets

Hoot hoot. Cluck cluck. The fresh, young and tender and full of trans-fats. Mickey Nuggets is another one of Burlesque Noir’s trolls. He is actually 1,000 years old.

 

13. Rex Starchild

rex broken glass photography

Oooooooh girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl. Rex Starchild  of Burlesque Noir is everyone’s favorite dead boy. His performances are nothing but him rotting onstage and stinking up the place with his decaying stench.

 

12. Shelley Sequinz

shelley

Ladies and gents this is Shelley Sequinz of Burlesque Noir.  The rapper of the troupe in her birthday suit. She sings songs to lure men into her lair where she keeps them there as a pet.

 

11. Machina Tigre

machina

A member of Burlesque Noir’s elite fattie/troll travel team. I wrote you a poem Machina.

Fattie fattie fat

Please don’t eat my cat.

 

10.Lottie LaRouge

lottie

Newest member of Burlesque Noir. Something something tits something something. Lottie is probably really intelligent and looks like she would be amazing to have mind blowing conversations with. But who cares, tits.

 

9. Annie O’Roar

annie 

Annie O’Roar of Burlesque Noir has a nasty habit of stealing babies and seducing wives. She plays with snakes,magic, fringe and whiskey. Something something legs and tits.

 

8.Mischa Misschief

mischa

Mischa is apart of the fattie/troll Burlesque Noir travel team. A practicing Satanist , she frequently bathes in the blood of the innocents while consuming mass quantities of Jameson whiskey. That’s how she gets that healthy glow.

 

7. Joy Coy

joy

“Joy Coy is a member of Burlesque Noir. She often gives hauntingly beautiful performances of the classic theater style. “ Travel team member, Joy Coy is not allowed in the sunlight or else she will turn to stone.

 

6. Mary Jane Monroe

mary

“Mary Jane Monroe is another of Burlesque Noir’s standouts. On stage she is like a classic 1950s pin-up come to life. She pours her heart and soul into every second she is on stage and has a smile as wide as The Sandia’s. “ Another travel team member of Burlesque Noir. She carries rocks in her pockets so she can throw them at people.

 

5. Don Schrader

don schrader

I mean, come on.

 

4. Doutelle

doutelle

She’s not from Albuquerque but who gives a shit. She’s from Santa Fe with Zircus Erotique. She has an act where she is a troll ,which there are no pictures of. On that note, bitch has no bad pictures. You need to work on that.

3. Holly Rebelle

holly

Troll. Or a drag queen. Or an award winning soloist ,leader of an award winning troupe and co-producer of the Southwest Burlesque Festival. Hmm. Nope. Holly Rebelle is a troll.

2. General Blackery

cake troll mam'zelle hepzibah

Feed me your children.

1. This Bitch

fattietroll it’s a gif

A novel could be wrote about this bitch’s performances, but to keep it short here are the thee most important things you need to know:

Jesus. Christians. Glitter.

 

Be sure to catch most of these fatties and trolls at the Launchpad this SATURDAY NIGHT! Burlesque Noir Presents:DIVAS

divas

Starring Cora Vette from Denver, CO
Saturday, December 14th
Doors 8 pm
$10
Performances by:
The VaVaVettes (Denver, CO)
Holly Rebelle
Joy Coy
Mary Jane Monroe
Mickey Nuggets
General Blackery
Lottie LaRouge
Shelley Sequinz
Rex Starchild
Machina Tigre
Moe Pex
Mischa Misschief

Photos without watermarks are by Evil M West. Annie O’Roars photo by Trout Imagery. General Blackery photo by Mam’zelle Hepzibah.

Here I Go Here I Go Here I Go Again

Girl! What’s my weakness? MEN!!

A Brotherhood even.

A Brotherhood of Burlesque at that!!!

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, the sexy, the talented, the hardcore lovers off all things pleasure, The Brotherhood of Burlesque,  are coming to Albuquerque this motherfucking weekend to get this town pregnant.

1005433_393543257424422_430397918_nPhoto by Broken Glass Photography

Unf. You are going to get all of that up in your face and other wet bits not once but TWICE this weekend as they headline the Ecdysiast’s Exclusive at the Cell. eeswbi 

Yes Burlesque Noir is going to be there. Yes we will be getting pregnant. You’re welcome.

 

Get your tickets now. $13.00. Do it now because this show will sell out and you don’t want to be a loser pants that sat home and watched re-runs of Saturday Night Live or some shit.

NM/CO Family

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The Burlesque Noir mobile gangsta party is headed up north,tomorrow,  to our second home Colorado Springs ,Colorado for my birthday show. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

 

It’s the best present ever. I get to hang out and be entertained by some mighty talented and beautiful folks. This is a good one kids. Don’t miss it if you are in the Springs. Peaks and Pasties throw one hell of a show!

#birthdayrealness

#birthdaymonth

#Rage

Soooo St. Louis and Austin Texas will be coming to Albuquerque and performing Saturday night.

No biggie. It’s just two of the TOP industry performers from St. Louis, Lola Van Ella and Sammich the Tramp are headlining the Southwest Burlesque Invitational.

Lola_van_Ella_and_Sammy_Tramp_Photo taken from the Southwest Burlesque  Invitational website.

Also headlining will be  the amazing, sexy, talented, mind-blowing The Jigglewatts ( Coco Lectric, Ruby Joule, Goldie Candela, & Jolie Goodnight) from Austin, Tx.

jwgroupanniecolor4Photo taken from the Southwest Burlesque Invitational website.

No biggie.

swbi

I will be performing my Catwoman piece I loving call  “Eartha Kitt Realness”.

P1120234Photo by Ian Flude from Burlesque Noir’s Till Death Do Us Part 7/26/13

Burlesque Noir will be performing our classy and sassy Sing Sing Sing number.

SSS COBF13Photo by Broken Glass Photography at the 4th Annual Colorado Burlesque Festival.

You get all of that and sooooooo much more for the low low price of $13.00 if you buy online RIGHT NOW! Tickets are zooming as we speak. So, go to it Man!

See you on the other side!

Upcoming Events

In tonight’s special edition of “Upcoming Events”, the part of General Blackery will be played by a monkey.

 

Oh yeah, the 4th Annual Colorado Burlesque Festival happened. I fed people pancakes and got tequila flavored(?) condoms. Oh and had a wonderfully nasty nude photo-shoot with the ladies of Burlesque Noir and the gents from Colorado Springs Brotherhood of Burlesque. Please direct your attention to this NSFW website. Anthony Graham is a fantastic photographer so please check out his work and buy ALL THE PHOTOS!

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This Sunday Sunday SUNDAY @ 2:30 Bump Grind and Werk It!!

Ladies and Gentlemen, this Sunday, I teach, once again. Come learn how to bump, grind, shimmy and werk, with me, General Blackery. Sign up now!

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Coming at you Saturday July 26th!! Burlesque Noir & Joykiller Productions Presents: Til Death Do Us Part

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Come celebrate that wonderful institution of titties! A show about love, lust, and good old fashioned bumping and grinding!

Featuring your favorite Dirty Rotten Showgirls and Boys of Burlesque Noir:

Holly Rebelle
General Blackery
Mary Jane Monroe
Machina Tigre
Joy Coy
Annie O’Roar
Mischa Misschief
Rex Starchild
Mickey Nuggets
Shelley Sequinz
Katana Jade
Oliver Dreams

Special performances by:

Mena Domina (Zircus Erotique)
Zmeya Dali (Black Widow Cabal)
Austin Tacious (Sons of Perdition)
Doutelle (Zircus Erotique)
Malificent Allure (Gilded Cage Burlesk & Variete)
Match Stickmon
Evergreen Eriks (Sons of Perdition)

With Xavier Wyntir, Lexie James, and Curvy Q

Welcoming Seattle based photographer Steve Groves and video by Mega Ultra Studios

$10 presale
$15 at the door

This is a 21+ event.
Flyer by Signal One Three Media!

 

 

 

Shenanigans will ensue after the show.
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So that rounds out July. Coming up in August,  PRIDE & Equality magazine presents The 2nd Annual Très Chic Hair and Fashion Show Fundraiser

 Burlesque Noir will be performing with some major major headliners!Image

Last year we introduced a hair and fashion experience and we are back for a second year. Welcome to the 2nd Annual Trés Chic Hair and Fashion Show Fundraiser presented by PRIDE & Equality magazine, inspired by Vincent R. Johnson, creator of Creme De La Do. Très Chic is a fashion and hair show benefiting HIV/AIDS organizations Southwest C.A.R.E. Center and International AIDS Empowerment. Our runway show will feature statewide salons and clothing stores including E Salon & Spa, Pin it Up Hair Studio, Inspire Hair Salon and D’Ambrosio Designs.

This year’s headliner is Coco Montrese of Rupaul’s Drag Race.

This year’s event is hosted by Actor, Dancer, Singer and one half of the “Pit Crew” on Rupaul’s Drag Race, Jason J. Carter and Radio Celebrity Donnie Chase of 100.3 The Peak.

Sponsored by PRIDE & Equality magazine, Andrew Christian, and Graphicbliss

Friday, August 9, 2013
6:30pm
Kiva Auditorium

TICKETS ARE ON SALE NOW!
$25 per person
http://myprideonline.com/TresChic.html
$10 OFF THROUGH PARTICIPATING SALONS

$35 per person (at the door or at http://www.holdmyticket.com/event/132298)

$250 VIP Tables – 12 VIP 4-top tables available near the stage and runway (includes hors d’oeuvres and cash bar – http://www.holdmyticket.com/event/132298).

Cash Bar available and vendors on hand to share their businesses with you.

For more information, visit http://www.myprideonline.com/TresChic.html or call (505) 450-4706.

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 August 24th

Southwest Burlesque Invitational

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The Producers of the Southwest Burlesque Showcacse are pleased to present, The Southwest Burlesque Invitational!

Staring:

Godiva Bleu
Rick O’Shea
Mena Domina
Zmeya Dali & Austin Tacious
Mary Jane Monroe
Jezzebel Sin Claire
General Blackery
Joy Coy
Doutelle
Annie O’Roar
RiRi SynCyr
Burlesque Noir
Holly Rebelle

With Special Guests:

The Jigglewatts, from Austin, TX featuring; Coco Lectric, Ruby Joule, Jolie Goodnight and Goldie Candella

Lola Van Ella & Sammich The Tramp from St. Louis, MO

ONE NIGHT ONLY! August 24th @ The South Broadway Cultural Center
Doors at 7pm Show @ 8pm

18+ / Bar with Proper ID

Tickets are $13.00, on sale now through HOLD MY TICKET!

 

Long post was long.

In short, teaching class Sunday July 21st at 2:30, show at Launchpad July 26th, show at the Kiva August 9th, show at the Southwest Broadway Cultural Center August 24th.

Come.

<3

 

Upcoming Events

What it do mother fuckers?

It’s Wednesday night ( my Friday) so that means I am going to blow your FEED UP!

Hold to your panties as I take you on a magical journey that beings this Saturday and ends…NEVER BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

Saturday July 6thImageTHIS.THIS IS IMPORTANT!

Burlesque Noir brings you another JAM packed Burlesque show full of lovely beauties from all over Albuquerque!! Come spend your evening with us!

The night’s festivities include Burlesque performances, Bands, and A HUGE raffle benefiting the Burlesque Noir Traveling Team of 2013!!

Burlesque Noir will be performing in the Main Event during the weekend of Colorado Burlesque Festival 2013! Help send ABQ Burlesque to national events!! Raffle tickets $5

THANK YOU FOR YOUR OUTSTANDING SUPPORT!
7:30 Doors and Burlesque Show starts promptly at 8PM; $10

Bands include Albuquerque’s own Funk Sensation…
‘MERICAN SLANG
Punk Rock tunes by
Fire to the Rescue

3 hours of Burlesque and 3 EMCEES:
Cherry Jubilee, Mike”Dirty” Del Rio, and Paris A Gogo

LIVE BURLESQUE BY:
Burlesque Noir Travelling Team
Holly Rebelle
Malificent Allure
Joy Coy
Miss Behavin’
Mercy Just Mercy
Lacy Le Rouge
Dirty Deeds Burlesque
Perla Foxx
Katana Jade
General Blackery
Machina Tigre
Scar Letta
Mischa Mischief
Mary Jane Monroe
Annie O’roar
Shelley Sequinz
Oliver Dreems
Rex Starchild
Tylee
More performers TBA

RAFFLE TICKETS ON SALE NOW! Contact the ladies of Burlesque Noir to purchase some or call 505 615-4248.

PRIZES INCLUDE:
$50 Hair Addiction Certificate
$50 Free Radicals Gift Certificate
Burly Tickets
1Hour Shiatsu Massage
Kuchi Jewerlry
1 Hour Photo-shoot with Steven Ziff
$25 Avon Gift Basket
The Library Bar and Grill GC
Burly Classes
and MUCH MORE!

Get on that shit. See you this weekend Loves.

XOXOXOXOX