Tag Archives: Burlesque Noir

Put a bird on it.

Posted on February 7, 2012 | 2 Comments

Hi. How you doing? Good I hope. Well tonight I’m gonna tell you a little story about my week.

Sooooo this week ( it’s only Tuesday night!!!)  has been super stressful with no thanks to PMS. Monday night I was in tears multiple times and I felt like Patrick Bateman during the business card scene.

I felt like this…image

 

And I wanted to do this…image

image

All over some trivial ass bullshit ( if you are just joining us,  I frequently shit where I eat and make bad decisions). Fuuuuuuu. Combine that with sewing and thinking about stupid shit and last night was pretty terrible.

Cut to about about an hour ago tonight and I get home from rehearsal. I live in a house with an alarm system. I roll up after stopping at the grocery store and notice a big red light is flashing. Oh that must be for the alarm…. I got to the front door and it’s ajar. Oh shit. And like a dumbass, I open the door and say “ Hello? Anybody there?” Well that was stupid. (Why don’t I just drop my panties and make it easier for the rapist*. ) So I call my room-mate and ask if they left in a hurry yadda yadda yadda.  They come home, and for whatever reason the door didn’t close when they left. Oh. Needless to say, I just got out of a nice long and hot Epsom salt bath and I’m  on my second drink of Ginger Ale and Jim Beam.

 

SOooooo with all that said, please come out and see me and all the amazing performers coming your way to tease and entertain you Thursday February 9th and Friday the 10th and  Saturday the 11th during the 6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase.

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A lot of blood, sweat, tears and glitter go into producing, costuming, choreographing, stage managing &  titty-taping in order to bring such an amazing festival to Albuquerque. Many many thanks to everyone involved!!

<3<3<3 XOXOXOXOX<3<3<3

Please say thank you, buy them drinks and give massages with happy endings. I would like all of the above please!!! xoxox

 

*I’m actually more afraid of being shot than raped. I just don’t want to get raped by an ugly dude.*

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase GIVEAWAY

Posted on January 4, 2012 | 8 Comments

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Wanna go to the Southwest Burlesque Showcase? Wanna get in for free ( like a boss)? Well now you can! I am giving away a ticket to the Friday February 10th  show at the Kimo. Woo! Hoo! You will get to see the show for FREE! Yeah. For free! And a button of me! You get to enter through the stage door ( like a boss) and let me embarrass the shit out of you the whole entire night (like a boss)! AWWW Yeah!

To enter: Leave a comment on this blog post or on Facebook. Feel free to pass this post like a blunt so your homies get a chance to enter.

Contest Rules:This giveaway is open to people age 21 or older who definitely know they will be in town and not a get fucking migraine day of show.  Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

I’ll be running this giveaway from now until January 28th! So get those comments in son! February 1st I’ll pick a winner!

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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Better Living Through Bad Decisions

Posted on December 31, 2011 | Leave a comment

I sit here writing this on my newly awakened laptop ( it died in September) , eating Red Velvet Cake Pancake Puppies with Cream Cheese Icing from Denny’s. Life is good I tells ya!

The death knell for 2011 hasn’t even rung yet and 2012 is looking pretty dope. Not that 2011 wasn’t amazing. It was. I got to go to new cities and meet new amazing people. I had the best freaking birthday ever and I spent the holidays with my true family of friends.Oh I also feel in love…….with whiskey. 2011 has also given me a goal. A goal for 2012 and beyond. That goal: Make more bad decisions.

AhoPNaCCIAISi8-

It’s time to start living ladies and gents and make better bad decisions. Let this motto carry you through 2012 and beyond. See ya in jail bitches!

UPCOMING EVENTS

  • Catch me January 18th at the Launchpad where Vagrant Variety presents another panty-dropping good time with music by Diverje, stand-up comedy, poetry, and burlesque. Only $5!
  • Southwest Burlesque Showcase. Catch me solo Friday  February 10th at the Kimo,  and catch me with Burlesque Noir Saturday night. I’ll be cheering and running around topless Thursday night at the Launchpad as well. 377990_299077033458842_145708085462405_934848_514010756_nCheck out Burque Burlesque for the complete line-up!

Be safe and happy tonight my loves! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

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What’s Up?

Posted on September 14, 2011 | Leave a comment

This is what I have been feasting my eyes on this week. Enjoy.

 

Hey Girl!

 

Honey badger don’t care. Honey badger don’t give a shit!

 

 

I can’t embed at the moment so go to Strip Cheez and check out Burlesque Noir tearing it up at the 2nd Annual Colorado Burlesque Festival! We fucking rocked it!!

 

This weekend I head up to Colorado Springs to perform there for the first time. Wooooooot! 

CO Springs

Check that flyer out! HOT! I’ll be doing a solo Friday nigh at the Zodiac Venue/Bar and performing with Burlesque Noir Saturday!!

 

BAM! This weekend is gonna be gooooooood!

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir, travel, video

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Sorry for the radio silence.

Posted on September 6, 2011 | Leave a comment

Hey hey hey! So I’m all moved and everything. Enjoy a post I wrote a couple weeks ago.  Lots of things happened since I wrote this initial post.  Expect an updated one shortly.

 

 

Your wonderful General Blackery has become a free bitch baby. Of course that means my personal life is in a bit of a flux with partners moving out, no internet at home,  and the eventual move of all my glitter.  So expect even more debauchery from this dirty rotten showgirl. Wait, it already happened. In Santa Fe.

Let me just briefly touch on what happened up there at Tallulah’s St. James’s Birthday Suit Bonanza. There was a show. It was a great fucking show.I got to see the legendary Satan’s Angel put on one hell of a show.  But afterwards the party got started. I was making out with as much people as I could. Guests at the hotel were complaining, asking for refunds, cops were being called, pool jumpers, naked hot tub time, threesomes and 2:30 am booty calls. And then we all met for brunch in the morning to try to remember what the hell happened. Oh The Lodge at Santa Fe will never be the same.  Best quote from brunch which Sofia Soberette put on my facebook wall “ How do you have a threesome with yourself?”

So you guys, when I say you need to come out to a burlesque show, you should really go. And stick around for the afterparty. I can’t guarantee they will all be like that. I think the mix of New Mexico and Colorado combining creates a party tornado. So, please come to one of the many burlesque shows that happen in the Albuquerque/Santa Fe area. You will not be disappointed.

Mark your calendars for the weekend in August 19-21st for A Burly-Q.  And stay tuned for Burlesque Noir’s Burlesque in the Wild West Show November 12th. Annnnnd the dates for the 6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Fest have been announced. Mark those calendars Feburary 10-12th. BAM!

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Posted in Albuquerque New Mexico, burlesque, Burlesque Noir, Denver Colorado

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Oh JEZUS!

Posted on July 18, 2011 | Leave a comment

Where do I begin? I guess with Colorado. I still haven’t recovered from it. I mean, I was there from Thursday to Monday and it just blew my mind.

I have absolutely no pictures of all the shenanigans that went on because I left my battery charger in a hotel on the east coast and I was having too much fun. And I am too damn tired to write out a whole post.

SOOOOOOOO, here’s what is coming up in the week!

Tallulah’s Birthday Suit Bonanza!!

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AHAHAH! I’ll be performing in Santa Fe for the first time this Saturday. I am so excited. I hope to give Tallulah a lap dance.  You got to come to this show. Seriously, check the line up:

Join Zircus Erotique and Special Guests in celebrating the birthday of Tallulah St. James!!
Featuring:
The Queen of the Fire Tassels, Satan’s Angel
Lola Spitfire
Bunny Bee
September Smith
Zircus Erotique:
Doutelle
Lady Lux
Lily La Dee
Madam Lennox
Mena Domina
Gilded Cage Burlesk:
IntoxiKate
Vivian MirAnn
Burque Burlesque:
Kiity Irreverent
Ri Ri Syncyr
Burlesque Noir:
General Blackery
Holly Rebelle
AND!!!
Boylesque from Colorado!!!
Mustang Monroe
Mr Valdez
Also, recent graduates from the ZE Burlesque Class
Isabella Bashir
Anouska
Songbird: Sofia Soubrette
Emcee: Naughty Pierre
www.zeburlesque.com

And don’t think the rock has stopped. OH NO! The one, the only Reigning Queen of Burlesque 2011 Miss Indigo Blue will be teaching in the Q on Tuesday July 26th. Your mind is blown I know. Check this out!

miss indigo blu

Reigning Queen of Burlesque, Miss Indigo Blue will be in Albuquerque for one night only sharing her wealth of information by teaching classes both open to public and private sessions available.
For more class descriptions and sign up please go to www.burlesquenoir.com/indi​goblue
6-7:30 Available for private sessions, please contact hollyrebelle@burlesquenoir​.com to reserve your slot!
7:30-8:30 The Art Of The Tease: Burlesque and Empowered Flirtation $20 ***open to the public***
8:30 – 9:30 Tassel Twirling for the Twenty-First Century $20 ***open to the public***
9:30 – 11:30 Private Sessions available please contact hollyrebelle@burlesquenoir​.com to reserve your slot.

Go ahead and get schooled!

I’ve already signed up for both of her classes and my titties are shaking with joy!

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Posted in Albuquerque New Mexico, burlesque, Burlesque Noir, Denver Colorado

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Aftermath

Posted on July 4, 2011 | Leave a comment

Of being a Dirty Rotten Showgirl after performing at the Hot Rod Hop at the Kimo Saturday night.

dirtyrottenshowgirls

Thank you Ri Ri Syncyr for snapping this pic of Ann Gora and I getting catcalled while cleaning out a kiddie pool. Our lives are hard.

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Annnd this is the result of me getting really really REALLLLLLY drunk and photo bombing. My life is hard. I signed a bunch of my photos with very dirty messages so pick one up next time from Dark Flash Photography and enjoy my horrible sense of humor. Special bonus if you get the really really reallllly offensive one.

 

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I’m busy (not really) packing for the Colorado Burlesque Festival that is starting this Thursday. My liver is going to hate me. Burlesque Noir is performing Thursday night at the Opening Gala and I will be doing my Mary Jane solo on Sunday.  Yeah, my liver is going to hate me.

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Posted in Burlesque Noir, tomfoolery, travel

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You wanna know what’s fun?

Posted on June 9, 2011 | Leave a comment

Reading the Albuquerque Craigslist personals for men seeking men and looking at the the dick pics that are posted with the ad. Damn! Who knew that there were so many bored and horny dudes in this town? I have enriched my life 10 fold by learning about blow and go’s , all the different angles in which to take pictures of your dick and how there is one dude who has a room at the Hyatt Tamya. HaaayyyyAAAA! Fuck my vagina, I’m going over anyway!

You wanna know what else is fun? Burlesque Noir Presents: Red Hot Burlesque Summer.  BAM! I think this is our first work safe flier.

burlesque noir 8w

You can and should buy your tickets in advance here. They are only $10 in advance. And where else can you see the amazing Kellita Maloof from San Francisco’s Hot Pink  Feathers but right here in the 505. DO NOT MISS THIS SHOW!

Super extra bonus! Kellita will be teaching workshops on WORLD CABARET/SAMBA DANCE TECHNIQUE and Crafting the Solo Friday night at Rythmic Arts Center (4821 Central Ave. NE). HERE is all the information and sign up form for the workshops.

We got new routines and costumes and gussied up some of our classics and made them bigger and better than ever so get your ass down to the Launchpad June 18th. Yes, you can wear a bikini. Yes, you can buy me a drink. Yes, you can send me dick pics.

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Posted in Albuquerque New Mexico, burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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Burlesque Hangover

Posted on April 29, 2011 | Leave a comment

Wednesday night’s show with Trixie Little and the Evil Hate Monkey was one of the most exciting and weird and fantastic shows I have ever done. It was such an honor to share the stage with two of my most favorite performers. To see what they do and to see how the 505 crowd loved them was beyond amazing. I can’t thank them enough! I am also blown away by how amazing the New Mexico burlesque scene is. On a Wednesday night there was a large crowd, cheering, drinking and having a blast! Thank you audience!! And I can’t forget the amazing NM talent that graced the stage. Let me thumb through a thesaurus and just list all the synonyms for fantastic because that’s what they are: A-1, awesome, best, best ever, cat’s meow, delicious, far out, first-class, first-rate, great, like wow, marvelous, out of sight, out of this world, primo, sensational, superb, unreal!!

 

Also, I just found out that I got accepted to perform at the Colorado Burlesque festival. Not only will I be performing with Burlesque Noir but I will also be bringing my Mary Jane solo up to the Mile High City. I’m pretty stoked. So I get to join the ranks of Holly Rebelle, Kitty Irreverent, Tallulah St. James, Zircus Erotique, and Vivian Mirann. New Mexico is at least in every show representing and probably gonna tear a new asshole in Colorado. Stay tuned for more details!

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The Biggest Little Burly-Q Show In The Q

Posted on April 20, 2011 | Leave a comment

trixie and monkey

Trixie Little and Evil Hate Monkey are coming to perform in Albuquerque Wednesday April 27th. Let me repeat that.

Trixie Little and Evil Hate Monkey from NYC are performing here in Albuquerque Wednesday April 27th.

Is your mind not blown? Because mine is. These are two of the most amazing performers I have ever had the chance to meet and see live.  You will get to see this live:

Show Details!

Burlesque Noir Presents:
The Biggest Little Burly-Q Show in the Q
Starring:
Trixie Little and Evil Hate Monkey
…From NYC!
www.trixielittle.com
***
Featuring NM Performers:
Burlesque Noir
Kitty Irreverent
RiRi Syncyr
Miss Vivian MirAnn
Tallulah St. James
Mr. and Mrs. Rebelle
General Blackery
Ann Gora
Doutelle
Mena Domina
Lady Lux
IntoxiKate
Satyricon
With
MC Xavier Wyntir
DJ Brian Botkiller
Wednesday April 27th
At EFFEX Nightclub (100 5th Street Southwest Albuquerque, NM)
7:30 pm
$10 at the Door
21+

Do Not miss this once in a lifetime performance. Seriously, what else are you gonna do on a Wednesday night? What else can be that important? Fuck work. Come see some great live entertainment!

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir, Performers

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