Tag Archives: burlesque

Post-Coital

Posted on February 16, 2012 | 1 Comment

Good mother-fucking afternoon everyone!

Picture 052

I’m going to hot yoga this afternoon. This will be my first time. If I die, this will be the last image of myself. Amazing.

Well, the Tucson show has come and gone and so has the Southwest Burlesque Showcase. Can I just say how amazing last week’s three day extravaganza was?  I mean that shit was crazy fun. I had a blast hanging out with old friends, new friends and even a bear! Next year I’m definitely not going to work those days because I missed a huge opportunity hanging out with my NM, CO, IL, TN and TX buddies. Next time fo’ sheezy. Once I get all the pictures and video!!! back I will do a HUGE post on all the awesome. In the meantime, here’s some emotional vomit. Don’t worry, I’ll have a prize at the bottom.

 

I got a major case of the burlesque hangover/comedown and a COLD! And I’m doing my taxes and this year I have to OWE! I feel like I have just fucked myself over and it’s only the middle of February( I am the master of shitting where I eat and shooting myself in the foot). Well I guess it’s better to be fucked over by yourself than be fucked over by someone else. Right right? Unless it’s by one of these hot bitches. Mmmmm. (see what I did there?)

clockworkwhore2

I had myself a nice cry Monday night while eating pho and watching Harold and Maude and realizing that damn, I need a Maude. I want to be Maude. Can someone please caress me the way  Harold caresses and strokes the wooden statue? Fuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkkk. I try not to give a fuck, but do you know how much energy and stress that takes? GOD DAMN!

buddha

I knew after all the shows I wanted to go on a “chemical vacation”. Meaning any drugs and alcohol that is available can get in my body right now. Well those chemicals have been nothing but Emergen-C, Airborne, vitamins vitamins vitamins and some whiskey. My snot is electric yellow. It won’t stop. I really wanted to treat myself to a tattoo for Valentine’s Day because I love only myself but I don’t think it’s a good idea to get inked while sniffling. Hopefully soon.

Blah.

 

Here’s your bonus if you haven’t seen it yet.

bringonthemen

Much love to Phoenix Rizing Photography for this kickass shot! The got a lot more from the show on their page. Check it yo!

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Posted in Burlesque Noir, burlesque, bitching and complaining

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Put a bird on it.

Posted on February 7, 2012 | 2 Comments

Hi. How you doing? Good I hope. Well tonight I’m gonna tell you a little story about my week.

Sooooo this week ( it’s only Tuesday night!!!)  has been super stressful with no thanks to PMS. Monday night I was in tears multiple times and I felt like Patrick Bateman during the business card scene.

I felt like this…image

 

And I wanted to do this…image

image

All over some trivial ass bullshit ( if you are just joining us,  I frequently shit where I eat and make bad decisions). Fuuuuuuu. Combine that with sewing and thinking about stupid shit and last night was pretty terrible.

Cut to about about an hour ago tonight and I get home from rehearsal. I live in a house with an alarm system. I roll up after stopping at the grocery store and notice a big red light is flashing. Oh that must be for the alarm…. I got to the front door and it’s ajar. Oh shit. And like a dumbass, I open the door and say “ Hello? Anybody there?” Well that was stupid. (Why don’t I just drop my panties and make it easier for the rapist*. ) So I call my room-mate and ask if they left in a hurry yadda yadda yadda.  They come home, and for whatever reason the door didn’t close when they left. Oh. Needless to say, I just got out of a nice long and hot Epsom salt bath and I’m  on my second drink of Ginger Ale and Jim Beam.

 

SOooooo with all that said, please come out and see me and all the amazing performers coming your way to tease and entertain you Thursday February 9th and Friday the 10th and  Saturday the 11th during the 6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase.

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A lot of blood, sweat, tears and glitter go into producing, costuming, choreographing, stage managing &  titty-taping in order to bring such an amazing festival to Albuquerque. Many many thanks to everyone involved!!

<3<3<3 XOXOXOXOX<3<3<3

Please say thank you, buy them drinks and give massages with happy endings. I would like all of the above please!!! xoxox

 

*I’m actually more afraid of being shot than raped. I just don’t want to get raped by an ugly dude.*

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase GIVEAWAY

Posted on January 4, 2012 | 8 Comments

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Wanna go to the Southwest Burlesque Showcase? Wanna get in for free ( like a boss)? Well now you can! I am giving away a ticket to the Friday February 10th  show at the Kimo. Woo! Hoo! You will get to see the show for FREE! Yeah. For free! And a button of me! You get to enter through the stage door ( like a boss) and let me embarrass the shit out of you the whole entire night (like a boss)! AWWW Yeah!

To enter: Leave a comment on this blog post or on Facebook. Feel free to pass this post like a blunt so your homies get a chance to enter.

Contest Rules:This giveaway is open to people age 21 or older who definitely know they will be in town and not a get fucking migraine day of show.  Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

I’ll be running this giveaway from now until January 28th! So get those comments in son! February 1st I’ll pick a winner!

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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Better Living Through Bad Decisions

Posted on December 31, 2011 | Leave a comment

I sit here writing this on my newly awakened laptop ( it died in September) , eating Red Velvet Cake Pancake Puppies with Cream Cheese Icing from Denny’s. Life is good I tells ya!

The death knell for 2011 hasn’t even rung yet and 2012 is looking pretty dope. Not that 2011 wasn’t amazing. It was. I got to go to new cities and meet new amazing people. I had the best freaking birthday ever and I spent the holidays with my true family of friends.Oh I also feel in love…….with whiskey. 2011 has also given me a goal. A goal for 2012 and beyond. That goal: Make more bad decisions.

AhoPNaCCIAISi8-

It’s time to start living ladies and gents and make better bad decisions. Let this motto carry you through 2012 and beyond. See ya in jail bitches!

UPCOMING EVENTS

  • Catch me January 18th at the Launchpad where Vagrant Variety presents another panty-dropping good time with music by Diverje, stand-up comedy, poetry, and burlesque. Only $5!
  • Southwest Burlesque Showcase. Catch me solo Friday  February 10th at the Kimo,  and catch me with Burlesque Noir Saturday night. I’ll be cheering and running around topless Thursday night at the Launchpad as well. 377990_299077033458842_145708085462405_934848_514010756_nCheck out Burque Burlesque for the complete line-up!

Be safe and happy tonight my loves! XOXOXOXOXOXOX

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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What’s Up?

Posted on September 14, 2011 | Leave a comment

This is what I have been feasting my eyes on this week. Enjoy.

 

Hey Girl!

 

Honey badger don’t care. Honey badger don’t give a shit!

 

 

I can’t embed at the moment so go to Strip Cheez and check out Burlesque Noir tearing it up at the 2nd Annual Colorado Burlesque Festival! We fucking rocked it!!

 

This weekend I head up to Colorado Springs to perform there for the first time. Wooooooot! 

CO Springs

Check that flyer out! HOT! I’ll be doing a solo Friday nigh at the Zodiac Venue/Bar and performing with Burlesque Noir Saturday!!

 

BAM! This weekend is gonna be gooooooood!

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir, travel, video

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Sorry for the radio silence.

Posted on September 6, 2011 | Leave a comment

Hey hey hey! So I’m all moved and everything. Enjoy a post I wrote a couple weeks ago.  Lots of things happened since I wrote this initial post.  Expect an updated one shortly.

 

 

Your wonderful General Blackery has become a free bitch baby. Of course that means my personal life is in a bit of a flux with partners moving out, no internet at home,  and the eventual move of all my glitter.  So expect even more debauchery from this dirty rotten showgirl. Wait, it already happened. In Santa Fe.

Let me just briefly touch on what happened up there at Tallulah’s St. James’s Birthday Suit Bonanza. There was a show. It was a great fucking show.I got to see the legendary Satan’s Angel put on one hell of a show.  But afterwards the party got started. I was making out with as much people as I could. Guests at the hotel were complaining, asking for refunds, cops were being called, pool jumpers, naked hot tub time, threesomes and 2:30 am booty calls. And then we all met for brunch in the morning to try to remember what the hell happened. Oh The Lodge at Santa Fe will never be the same.  Best quote from brunch which Sofia Soberette put on my facebook wall “ How do you have a threesome with yourself?”

So you guys, when I say you need to come out to a burlesque show, you should really go. And stick around for the afterparty. I can’t guarantee they will all be like that. I think the mix of New Mexico and Colorado combining creates a party tornado. So, please come to one of the many burlesque shows that happen in the Albuquerque/Santa Fe area. You will not be disappointed.

Mark your calendars for the weekend in August 19-21st for A Burly-Q.  And stay tuned for Burlesque Noir’s Burlesque in the Wild West Show November 12th. Annnnnd the dates for the 6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Fest have been announced. Mark those calendars Feburary 10-12th. BAM!

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Posted in Albuquerque New Mexico, burlesque, Burlesque Noir, Denver Colorado

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You wanna know what’s fun?

Posted on June 9, 2011 | Leave a comment

Reading the Albuquerque Craigslist personals for men seeking men and looking at the the dick pics that are posted with the ad. Damn! Who knew that there were so many bored and horny dudes in this town? I have enriched my life 10 fold by learning about blow and go’s , all the different angles in which to take pictures of your dick and how there is one dude who has a room at the Hyatt Tamya. HaaayyyyAAAA! Fuck my vagina, I’m going over anyway!

You wanna know what else is fun? Burlesque Noir Presents: Red Hot Burlesque Summer.  BAM! I think this is our first work safe flier.

burlesque noir 8w

You can and should buy your tickets in advance here. They are only $10 in advance. And where else can you see the amazing Kellita Maloof from San Francisco’s Hot Pink  Feathers but right here in the 505. DO NOT MISS THIS SHOW!

Super extra bonus! Kellita will be teaching workshops on WORLD CABARET/SAMBA DANCE TECHNIQUE and Crafting the Solo Friday night at Rythmic Arts Center (4821 Central Ave. NE). HERE is all the information and sign up form for the workshops.

We got new routines and costumes and gussied up some of our classics and made them bigger and better than ever so get your ass down to the Launchpad June 18th. Yes, you can wear a bikini. Yes, you can buy me a drink. Yes, you can send me dick pics.

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Posted in Albuquerque New Mexico, burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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Burlesque Hangover

Posted on April 29, 2011 | Leave a comment

Wednesday night’s show with Trixie Little and the Evil Hate Monkey was one of the most exciting and weird and fantastic shows I have ever done. It was such an honor to share the stage with two of my most favorite performers. To see what they do and to see how the 505 crowd loved them was beyond amazing. I can’t thank them enough! I am also blown away by how amazing the New Mexico burlesque scene is. On a Wednesday night there was a large crowd, cheering, drinking and having a blast! Thank you audience!! And I can’t forget the amazing NM talent that graced the stage. Let me thumb through a thesaurus and just list all the synonyms for fantastic because that’s what they are: A-1, awesome, best, best ever, cat’s meow, delicious, far out, first-class, first-rate, great, like wow, marvelous, out of sight, out of this world, primo, sensational, superb, unreal!!

 

Also, I just found out that I got accepted to perform at the Colorado Burlesque festival. Not only will I be performing with Burlesque Noir but I will also be bringing my Mary Jane solo up to the Mile High City. I’m pretty stoked. So I get to join the ranks of Holly Rebelle, Kitty Irreverent, Tallulah St. James, Zircus Erotique, and Vivian Mirann. New Mexico is at least in every show representing and probably gonna tear a new asshole in Colorado. Stay tuned for more details!

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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The Biggest Little Burly-Q Show In The Q

Posted on April 20, 2011 | Leave a comment

trixie and monkey

Trixie Little and Evil Hate Monkey are coming to perform in Albuquerque Wednesday April 27th. Let me repeat that.

Trixie Little and Evil Hate Monkey from NYC are performing here in Albuquerque Wednesday April 27th.

Is your mind not blown? Because mine is. These are two of the most amazing performers I have ever had the chance to meet and see live.  You will get to see this live:

Show Details!

Burlesque Noir Presents:
The Biggest Little Burly-Q Show in the Q
Starring:
Trixie Little and Evil Hate Monkey
…From NYC!
www.trixielittle.com
***
Featuring NM Performers:
Burlesque Noir
Kitty Irreverent
RiRi Syncyr
Miss Vivian MirAnn
Tallulah St. James
Mr. and Mrs. Rebelle
General Blackery
Ann Gora
Doutelle
Mena Domina
Lady Lux
IntoxiKate
Satyricon
With
MC Xavier Wyntir
DJ Brian Botkiller
Wednesday April 27th
At EFFEX Nightclub (100 5th Street Southwest Albuquerque, NM)
7:30 pm
$10 at the Door
21+

Do Not miss this once in a lifetime performance. Seriously, what else are you gonna do on a Wednesday night? What else can be that important? Fuck work. Come see some great live entertainment!

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir, Performers

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It’s time for another ‘Tinis and ‘Teasers!

Posted on April 8, 2011 | Leave a comment

web flyer bb

Whoop whoop! Join myself, Holly Rebelle, September Smith, Tallulah St. James, Kitty Irreverent and the fiery Lola Spitfire and the super sexy Bunny Bee from the great state up north Colorado! Saturday April 16th.  Doors at 8 show at 9pm. $10 and get there early the place has been known to fill up fast.

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Posted in Albuquerque New Mexico, burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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