Tag Archives: Southwest Burlesque Festival

Post-Coital

Posted on February 16, 2012 | 1 Comment

Good mother-fucking afternoon everyone!

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I’m going to hot yoga this afternoon. This will be my first time. If I die, this will be the last image of myself. Amazing.

Well, the Tucson show has come and gone and so has the Southwest Burlesque Showcase. Can I just say how amazing last week’s three day extravaganza was?  I mean that shit was crazy fun. I had a blast hanging out with old friends, new friends and even a bear! Next year I’m definitely not going to work those days because I missed a huge opportunity hanging out with my NM, CO, IL, TN and TX buddies. Next time fo’ sheezy. Once I get all the pictures and video!!! back I will do a HUGE post on all the awesome. In the meantime, here’s some emotional vomit. Don’t worry, I’ll have a prize at the bottom.

 

I got a major case of the burlesque hangover/comedown and a COLD! And I’m doing my taxes and this year I have to OWE! I feel like I have just fucked myself over and it’s only the middle of February( I am the master of shitting where I eat and shooting myself in the foot). Well I guess it’s better to be fucked over by yourself than be fucked over by someone else. Right right? Unless it’s by one of these hot bitches. Mmmmm. (see what I did there?)

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I had myself a nice cry Monday night while eating pho and watching Harold and Maude and realizing that damn, I need a Maude. I want to be Maude. Can someone please caress me the way  Harold caresses and strokes the wooden statue? Fuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkkk. I try not to give a fuck, but do you know how much energy and stress that takes? GOD DAMN!

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I knew after all the shows I wanted to go on a “chemical vacation”. Meaning any drugs and alcohol that is available can get in my body right now. Well those chemicals have been nothing but Emergen-C, Airborne, vitamins vitamins vitamins and some whiskey. My snot is electric yellow. It won’t stop. I really wanted to treat myself to a tattoo for Valentine’s Day because I love only myself but I don’t think it’s a good idea to get inked while sniffling. Hopefully soon.

Blah.

 

Here’s your bonus if you haven’t seen it yet.

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Much love to Phoenix Rizing Photography for this kickass shot! The got a lot more from the show on their page. Check it yo!

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Posted in Burlesque Noir, burlesque, bitching and complaining

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Put a bird on it.

Posted on February 7, 2012 | 2 Comments

Hi. How you doing? Good I hope. Well tonight I’m gonna tell you a little story about my week.

Sooooo this week ( it’s only Tuesday night!!!)  has been super stressful with no thanks to PMS. Monday night I was in tears multiple times and I felt like Patrick Bateman during the business card scene.

I felt like this…image

 

And I wanted to do this…image

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All over some trivial ass bullshit ( if you are just joining us,  I frequently shit where I eat and make bad decisions). Fuuuuuuu. Combine that with sewing and thinking about stupid shit and last night was pretty terrible.

Cut to about about an hour ago tonight and I get home from rehearsal. I live in a house with an alarm system. I roll up after stopping at the grocery store and notice a big red light is flashing. Oh that must be for the alarm…. I got to the front door and it’s ajar. Oh shit. And like a dumbass, I open the door and say “ Hello? Anybody there?” Well that was stupid. (Why don’t I just drop my panties and make it easier for the rapist*. ) So I call my room-mate and ask if they left in a hurry yadda yadda yadda.  They come home, and for whatever reason the door didn’t close when they left. Oh. Needless to say, I just got out of a nice long and hot Epsom salt bath and I’m  on my second drink of Ginger Ale and Jim Beam.

 

SOooooo with all that said, please come out and see me and all the amazing performers coming your way to tease and entertain you Thursday February 9th and Friday the 10th and  Saturday the 11th during the 6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase.

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A lot of blood, sweat, tears and glitter go into producing, costuming, choreographing, stage managing &  titty-taping in order to bring such an amazing festival to Albuquerque. Many many thanks to everyone involved!!

<3<3<3 XOXOXOXOX<3<3<3

Please say thank you, buy them drinks and give massages with happy endings. I would like all of the above please!!! xoxox

 

*I’m actually more afraid of being shot than raped. I just don’t want to get raped by an ugly dude.*

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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6th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase GIVEAWAY

Posted on January 4, 2012 | 8 Comments

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Wanna go to the Southwest Burlesque Showcase? Wanna get in for free ( like a boss)? Well now you can! I am giving away a ticket to the Friday February 10th  show at the Kimo. Woo! Hoo! You will get to see the show for FREE! Yeah. For free! And a button of me! You get to enter through the stage door ( like a boss) and let me embarrass the shit out of you the whole entire night (like a boss)! AWWW Yeah!

To enter: Leave a comment on this blog post or on Facebook. Feel free to pass this post like a blunt so your homies get a chance to enter.

Contest Rules:This giveaway is open to people age 21 or older who definitely know they will be in town and not a get fucking migraine day of show.  Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

I’ll be running this giveaway from now until January 28th! So get those comments in son! February 1st I’ll pick a winner!

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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Posted on January 16, 2011 | Leave a comment

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FUCK! Have I got some exciting news for you!

Burlesque Noir has been accepted to perform at the Windy City Burlesque Festival.  OMG!  Yes Miss Honey we get to hang out with Michelle L’Amour again. AHH! 

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We are hoping we can get a fundraiser going soon so we can buy our plane tickets because for some odd reason, flights to Chi-Town are fucking expensive.  I may have to sell a kidney. I’m really excited to get a Chicago style hot dog. I love hot dogs.

Also, the Tini’s and Teaser’s show at Low Spirits was amazing. The show went over capacity. And I got to say, I my new solo was smoking hot. Look at how hot I am.

thehotnessIf you missed this you are on my shit list and I am going to find you and sit on your face and fart the Russian National Anthem. Seriously. You are dumb for missing me perform. DON’T EVER DO IT AGAIN!!!!

Oh and we are going to perform at Rock the Ink in March as well. Can you say “busy beavers”?

 

Remember to check out BN at the 5th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase. The lovely Ann Gora will be performing Friday night and Mr. and Mrs. Rebelle along with BN will be performing Saturday. UNF!

2011, you are kicking some serious ass!

(Photo of my hotness is due to the awesome that is Alex Fullam of Dark Flash Photography)

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir, news

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First post of 2011 and it’s a promo. You love it!

Posted on January 6, 2011 | Leave a comment

Ganked this post from Burlesque Noir because I wrote it. Bwhahahaha!

Have you recovered from the holidaze? Are you ok? Are you ready for the first BANG UP BURLESQUE SHOW OF 2011?!?!?!?

Well, grab your $10 and head to Low Spirits this Saturday for a special teaser show for the 5th! Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase.

 

Drink specials! ME General Blackery! Ann Gora! September Smith! Kitty Irreverent! Ri Ri Syncyr! Zircus Erotique! Raw Deal! Get your but out of the house and onto the dance floor.

Hi! I’ve been away. I’ll get back to you when I get my thoughts *cough*motivation*cough* together.  But, if your survived last years bloggy goodness, well get ready for more. <3

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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Quick Pics from SWBS

Posted on March 1, 2010 | Leave a comment

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I had the pleasure of playing Burlesque Mom and hanging around backstage at the 4th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase.  Here’s some behind the scenes photos of the eight sexy Burlesque Noir Reindeer.

From top to bottom, l to r, Missy La Lewd, Mary Jane Monroe, Holly Rebelle, Scantilly Lace, Busy Bea, Vanessa Vaudeville, Delisha Dollcurls, Ann Gora

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Holly Rebelle, Ann Gora, Delisha Dollcurls and Missy La Lewd (far back to front) Primping….

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Primping…

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Primping!

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Scarlet Grace getting ready.

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Fannie Spankings , Mary Jane Monroe and  Orchid Mei posing.

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Busy Bea and her amazing eyelashes of gold DOOM!

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Sparkly shoes represent!

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Always remember to stretch and limber up before a performance!

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Posted in Albuquerque New Mexico, burlesque, Burlesque Noir

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Upcoming!

Posted on February 1, 2010 | Leave a comment

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The 4th Annual Southwest Burlesque Showcase is happing in a few days!!! New Mexico’s own Burlesque Noir, September Smith, Riri Syncyr, Scarlet Grace, Kitty Irreverent & Vivian Mirann will be performing. Check and click the flyer for more info.  Burlesque Noir will be performing Friday night.

 

Also, Burlesque Noir is gearing up to go to Boston again (!) for the Great Boston Burlesque Expo. BAM! THEY HAVE WORKSHOPS OMFG!

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Posted in burlesque, Burlesque Noir, news

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